wht it takes for me to go in this journey...

i have a rough nite lately...nothings seems to be going smooth...all i can do was cry....n i can't tell ppl how i feel....i feel very depressed....n at this point..i wish i could call my dad again n again to chat about how gud things were...how my father would comfort his lil girl.... it's not about the advise or anything but is his voice that makes me feel relieve that.... he's still there for me.... but wht's the point when u can't even hear it anymore??? sometimes when i'm back hometown during sembreak...it's just remind me even more.... infact...he's not there playing n talking lame jokes with me....

that nite...when i was food poisoning....being admitted in the hospital in few hours...makes me think that...in this situation he will be with me...no with some un-close stranger.... i really felt scared when the needles poke in....n that stupid doctor can't find the veins...he would be making me laugh n comfort me.... but a fact is a fact....dad is gone...he's not there anymore.....n it just makes me feel sad....there are still many things he haven't teach me do n done it yet.... it's just not fair... the promises he make will not able done in this lifetime.... ppl keep tell me be strong...n let it go... but it's just less than 5 months....how could u possibly forget the one u love the most....that will not be coming back again....??? it takes time for me to learn to do things without him.... i'm scared to do it...but i push my self to the limit just to do things i don't want to do.... i just wanna rely on ppl sometimes...but no one wanna let me do it....

my 1st drip in the hospital...

i know he will always be in my heart.....n i have to go through this journey without him...taking care of things that i never did....doing things that i don't even want too.... i promise him that i will make him  proud...the 1st graduate in the house....take gud care of mum.....