wht am i in your eyes???

can someone really tell me n explain to me....wht am i in your eyes???? why i shud be treated like this??????? i really have enough with all those torturing u gave it to me......i'm just a friend......not some junk that shud be treated like this......dun play fake with me.....i know it........just tell me...wht did i do wrong???? have i really offended u???? tell me.....i'm not a person that can be treated like that.....ur r inhumane at all.... F**k u.....!!!!!!

www.this-is-my-story.com/v/63LZO2848560

www.this-is-my-story.com/v/63LZO2848560

i'm not happy at all...

1st time feels so alone in this place......1st times feels that i miss everyone in form 6....1st time ever felt being used in life....well...i guess that is just uni life about rite......i really hate this part.....at 1st my friends were just okay with me...but dunno y..the past week..i feels myself was so invisible to them....y....y???i keep asking...did i do anything wrong??? i really upset...cause my friends boycott me.....WTF.......even chloe also can see very obvious that they are ignoring me....i get to left walking behind alone......i'm really sad.....it's so hard to face them day by day.....the question is...wht am i to them????someone gud in english...n just her for that only function...after that....just leave me aside???? wht kinda friends is that....i just hope i can find someone truly..be friends with me....not just used me for their own good....i really hate them day by day...i need to wear a mask to face them ...i'm not happy...perhaps i think too much....but NO...it's the fact....i dun have friends at all....i'm just a lonely girl.......wai leong, meei yi, teng. brian. yao ming, honwei....n much more...i really miss u guys....at least u all wun treat me like this.......

Far East Movement - Girls On the Dance Floor ft. Stereotypes

don't you just love this whacky song.....i like it...

i'm not desperate....i don't need love....

LOL..who's say that i look i got a boyfriend.....wht a fact is that...=.=''lll...totally nonsense n rubbish......every single time some one state out that fact...i'm quite a not use to it....cause i have to tell them that...i'm not even involve in a serious relationship before...all those while let just fooling around....nothing serious was involve....perhaps..i'm too naive..n believe that my destiny haven't come.....F**K it........who says that i can't survive without man......everything single thing i do can be compared to a guy too ok...i'm not like others girl....dunno everything....i'm the wise girl that knw things k...i got brain n boobies...hahaha....i don't play dumb in these love game......instead i dun even wanna play .....i'm a risk taker.....but i'm just so tired loving someone that won't even wanna love u back...for wht wan to suffer myself like that....isit really worth it??? sometimes i think ....hmm....y dunwan to give myself a chance.....it's not my problem that i dun wanna give a try.....but is i never get that chance....NEVER.....people say....dun worry...u will find yours someday...hmmm....wht my mind thinks is...you really think that??? it's very hard to convince me....
it's kinda hard felt when u saw others have that chance and you don't....seeing my friends having those sweet time together......just makes me not comfortable.....y??? cause i wan that too...i'm a normal girl too .... i love being caress....but none is willing to take the role.....haihz....btw...i still can't let go of him sometimes.....somehow...i'm already use to the way he treat me.....
who do you really think can leave me BREATHLESS.....the one who is 'everything good in my life'

wht's on my mind really.....

haihz...sometimes i feel i can't forget the ones that i like b4...wht is past is the past...i couldn't change anything rite....but somehow....i still hope something gud will happen u know...just like miracle...but ....it' will be just a dream......
hmmm...this time back i ald gain weight a little....thanks for the ppl in kampar here keep feeding me non-stop.....argh......i need to follow my plan....must stop eating all those junk d...i need to be fit...n in terms of fit....really fit...not some lose hanging fat on my body...i just don't like that feel.....hahaha....y????cause i got a dream ...that's is...when i get married...i wanna look gud.....i wanna look best in my wedding dress....not with those extra pounds on the pictures.......

hmm....from today onwards i will achieve my dreams....nothing can beat me...i must control myself....nothing is impossible.......LOL..i hope i can do it.....
anyways....sudd fell sick ald.....T.T....makes me more homesick than ever......but still have a great time spending times with friends this few days....makes me more missing them....haihz......till next time....after 11 may only can meet......

lastly....must try to do well in all the task after this...the presentation....n of course my final......really can't fail ler......GAMBATEH...!!!

can't wait...

yea....it's so fast a week have been past.....gonna go homes for few days...will miss that moment...miss mum...i heard that she got some injured back during working time...damn worry for her.....n still dunno wht to buy fo the bufdae boys...haiyak....banyak susah lar....hahaha......btw...have fun today....finally finish my eb assignment jor...kekeke....then went out to have lunch n shopping...bought a skirt...rm 50...which i think still expensive..n also a heel for fun.....which i think gonna wear it 2moro for uni...hahaha......wah...today spend quite alot jor...T.T...but still got something not yet buy de.....haihz...go back need to do some serious shopping jor....hahaha.....end up tonight eat the foods that we bought last time in tesco..which we plan to have a steamboat...me n my buddy.....just take out some chicken balls..sotong balls..sausages and toufu ....erm...nice....using the chicken soup as a base.....taste quite satisfying.....haha..not bad after all..n feel full..cause not so hungry....

argh....

flashing back to yesterday incident....i was really angry n upset...making myself crying all nite cause feeling guilty...but u can't put all the blame on me thou......i was emo cause dateline for the assignment are this week...how am i not be worried....2 of the members seems to be selfish sometimes......argh..i just can't take it.....talking about this english for bussiness assignment.....i don't think the members really put much effor in it...instead...they can write the crap out n pass it to me.......ok...some points written are acceptable....but.....some sentence didn't make any sense at all.....the funniest thing is....they can use the version of english-transfer from chinese.....make me sitting at the laptop all nite doing the mistakes a...while they group n re-do it again........argh........mou yan.......isit a group leader responsibility to do it all??? well...hell no lar....this is not a primary or secondary time u know....this is uni level.....leader as person is just to help ...to edit n so on.......i'm not a teacher u know.....they can just sudd ask me about the assignment....n do you think i can ans these question...hell no lar.....everything also needs to refer to the leader.......everything also leader need to take care....wht o.......kanasai de lar.....roundly i got another 3 assignment which i also the leader...wht the heck???? under wht reason???? oh well..the reason is simple...my english is good enough.....WTF.........there's no such thing because my english is gud enough therefore everything also need to refer to me....it's not fair.......F**king not fair......are they idiots or wht......???? since this week need to pass up thei assignment...everyone seems to finish their marketing assignment...accept for one guy which is new to the group...he has been assign to write something ..even i'm hard to do it......but u know wht...the group member don't even have intentions to help him...WTF is this kind of ppl....after telling the others.....sudd got 2 ppl say...aiya...if he can't do then kick him out of the group lar....brainless ppl only can say this....it's ald gonna dateline by this friday...u wan ppl solo n not telling him to do earlier????F**king heartless........even that guy go complain to me...that he not feeling cooperative with the others......the others are giving such lanci ..(i dun wan to help u...u sendiri gao tim...if can't we will kick u out de fa)...wht the heck is all this about huh...u r in a university....everything also need cooperate u know...u just can't abandon the problem like this....it's so wrong....... apologizing to the dude last nite.....he also says that....he never met this kind of ppl in UTAR b4....oh well.....it's all about the leader fault rite......but i din't say give up on the guy n definitely never think to kick him out.....it's just not a right action for a gud leader to do it....sigh...next sem....i think i gonna pick another time with them...i dunwan to stick to this sick gang....especially got 2 girls which ald leave a bad impression to me...y??? because during library that day.....we wait for them to pack up all...going for the next lecture class...n the next thing u will find out that...u r left far behind....they ald walk infront of u...fast enough....n they dun have the intention to look back n slow down a sec.....this is just some kinda shit.....wht a selfish person.........i hate........
fuh...feeling much relieve after expressing all out...