R.I.P Daddy~~!!!!

it's ald 5.30 in the morning of 12/12/2011......still i'm awake...n can't sleep....because deep inside my heart i have lost some valuable in life....a person that i love ....my dad....

i really couldn't believe that he has gone....gone forever in my life.....but right in my heart i still can remember his smile....although many things happens....mostly that are bad n kinda influence me....but i still love him...no matter wht ...i'm still his little girl~!!!...

the day of 11/12/2011 10:45pm.... the day he gone....the time he pass away......
i'm really heartbroken n sad....i actually couldn't accept the fact that he is really not there....i really miss him...but it's very hard for me now...i wish i was back lately....saw him...but i have no longer have the chance to do it...... but i still get to hear his voice few days ago....

i CAN'T Sleep~!!!!!! many flash back appear in my mind....all those gud childhood memory.....those time that we play....funny things that happen n many things....n i even can't accept that he broke his promise once again.....the promise of staying healthy n watch me graduate from university.....it kinda broke my heart when he can't do it.....right in my mind i was hoping that when i finish uni...we would take a family pictures again...but he can't do it anymore..........plus he actually could have celebrated his birthday on this month on 30/12...but he couldn't make it.....my brother and i was thinking to have a reunion dinner or something like that ...but he's not there ald.....

mostly sad.....next year chinese new year suppose to be happy....it suppose to be a wonderful start......n of course it was my birthday too.....he was suppose to celebrate for me also.....but....but.....

right now.....i'm scared to face ppl i'm about to meet this tuesday......they will give their condolences....but i really hard to accept the fact of his death....n with the aunts all coming to his funeral....would i be able to hold my tears???? i really can't ......in fact.... have been crying from since i heard when he was having difficulty in breathing.......n it's hard for me to sleep n not to think wht have happen ......i really can't think of anything but cry n think of my dearest dad........

I LOVE YOU DAD~~!!! R.I.P.......u will be born in a better family....

苦口良药。。

lol....i was getting sick symptom starting on sunday nite...n didn't expect i was not getting better....gosh.....but oh well...look at the bright side....once or twice a year not bad wht....at least can help improve n the body immune system....anways...i was start getting sore throat a little...then i went for salt gargling....but then i end up getting fever n flu......HAcHO... was the term i using these few days....plus...i start eat medicine kinda late....on wednesday only start to consume my hurix 600....dang....i shud start earlier.....but after that....flu was kind ok...no more sneezing most of the time....but body temperate was kinda abnormal....kinda heaty...like feverish...but i feel nothing...but headache....even wakes me up from sleep....aiks...n today ...realize that...exam coming ald...i think it's better for me to get cure before it's too late to prepare for it....end up...calling my dear shuk huey to fetch me out to get some med.....went to this chinese herbs shop....ask for some med to cure.....erm....for the price of rm 10 i get 9 brown pills...n 6 yellow ones....hmm....wondering how it taste??? OMG...eyes roll..@.@...it was so damn bitter.....in chinese really can say...苦口良药。。 bitter medicine works best...but the taste was killing me...oh.......hahaha.... does it really work??? guess wht??? really cool down my body temperature....nw...i'm feeling normal again...no more feeling too hot or just burst sweat suddenly....thanks to that man......苦口良药....真的苦。。才有效。。。

my last batch before going to sleep....hopefully can fight more than 10 tigers..ahahaha

my wishing well~~!!!!

so....here it goes....next month 23 january 2011 it's a special happy day....duh.....hahaha......1st...not only my birthday but also CNY~~!! yay??? hmm.....i was thinking wht special could it be huh??? i dunno yet....cause no plan was reveal as need to pay all sort of study fees in uni...hmmm....but anways....some would be asking...wht i want for my birthday~!!!...simple....can check out the list below....hiak hiak hiak....maybe it's too over for you guys.....but it's just a wish lar...n not necessarily wan...it's just for fun...hahaha...so here goes:

MY 22nd bufdae wishing well
1.get loved by friends n family
2.world harmony
3.everyone live well, eat well
4.get a new phone
5.vacation
6.more new clothes, shoes, accessories
7.unlimited credits
8.a hug-gable toy
9.unlimited cash flow
10. a great hot body-haha..this one have to work on my own
11.flowers
12. surprises
13. celebrating an event in other state
14.a new basic brush set from Bubbi
15. cosmetics
16. a car wif unlimited petrol

that's all...nah....some are not really wanted....spot urself weyh...wahahaha

my 1st year of uni life gonna ends~!!!

time flies so fast.....n sometimes i couldn't believe wht actually i have been gone through all these 21 years....phew~.......nothing was smooth in life...but challenges are faced as to make as wiser and stronger.......i miss everything being a kid....but life goes on...till now.... i'm in university life~!! some ppl say it would be the greatest thing...but it could be an opposite point for you too....everything depends on how u think on it~....i have learn quite alot in this last sem of my 1st year.....i meet a gud person, a friend which i have been waiting all these while, a person that really meet my criteria for whom i will respect n like this kind of behavior....well...i can't say not everyone is perfect...not even me....i have bad traits too....i have communicate wif diff kind of ppl, diff levels.....n i can just switch to diff character just like that with those ppl...n sometimes i'm kinda lost n i need someone pull me back down the earth...n say...hey....don't be other ppl.....hahaha...but that never happen....
anyways...my friend.....i truly appreciate you...n i even felt very happy to meet someone that actually cared for others.....as the wise one say..."treat other the way you want to be treated"... it's true.....i have been putting much effort to treat ppl gud but i never get ways i wanted to be treated...n finally i really met someone which kinda impressive ...... plus....isit too much to be true when u found out such person still care for the community??? well he really did volunteer in education those kids....realy big claps for you..... at this point i realize that, in my Buddhism teaching...besides than being yourself, it's very important for you to contribute as well.....some ppl can contribute after they earn wht they want...but why not do wht you can to change the world perception....i really self reflect about myself.....wht have i really did all this while??? some say...i'm doing great... making donation for the poor wants, caring n lending the ears to the sad ones, helping others who need help...n hey...think of it....when u ask me help u guys out.... do i really reject much??? some ppl never expect that ppl can help u much...but i will always do my best....n not forgetting that actually i need to start take care of SOKA members.....laziness fill in everyone heart....sometimes u need to take a break...but too much break will just delay ur things.....

soon.....my 1st year of uni life gonna end...n of course anticipating for another year....n wondering wht i will be going thru next...n kinda sad for saying gudbye for some ppl u meet....i can't imagine without u by myside....u don't motivate me...but looking at you...just makes me self motivated ...try not to give up...n even i felt tired n complain ...u haven't say nag to me how's ur things going...n u stay so strong.... which i think u really one of the kind or shud i say ' you're the apple of my eyes'...thanks for bringing me back down to earth n realize things.....although u don't know or felt that u actually have such great powers...but deeply in my heart...U R~~!!!!!

and also not forgetting ppl who have been myside too....they have contribute too......thanks everyone .....thanks for being my friend n have the opportunity to meet you...it's great.....n stay positive, n dun worry too much.... everything can be settle...it can be a matter of time...n if u guys think ....my life SUCks....can't tahan......just come n tell me....i'm more than willing to help.....let me be a part of your life...n together we conquer it.....n pls don't forget....contribute back in life~~!!! i'm not saying karma...i'm saying the responsible of being a human being which is beside living in your own life....care about the natures n also diff community.....no discrimination of anything~~!!!!!...... all are just equal......we are just diff color, culture, n places....but somehow...we are still living in this planet, this galaxy.....